Thursday, September 19, 2013

This needs to Stop!

Recently, the horrific stories of rapes taking place in India have been all over the news and other media. It makes you think about the kind of world we are living in where men rape 2 year old girls!And its just not girls/women being raped, its boys/men who go through similar situations.
 
I can't imagine the horror, the fear that they have to live through. And to add to that the pressures of a judgmental society, uncooperative police officers, lenient laws and even unsupportive family - the torment that most victims go through, forces them to either keep mum about it or become suicidal. And these are just rape cases being highlighted - no one ever talks about the various cases of sexual assault. Yes, rape and assault are not the same - rape is a type of sexual assault. Let me elaborate on that:
 
Sexual Assault
It is any involuntary sexual act in which a person is threatened, coerced, or forced to engage against their will, or any sexual touching of a person who has not consented. It includes rape, groping, forced kissing, sexual harassment, domestic violence, child sexual abuse, or torture in a sexual manner.
 
Rape
It is a type of sexual assault usually involving intercourse, without the victim's consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority or against a person who is incapable of valid consent (unconscious, incapacitated or below the legal age of consent).

Besides the problems faced by victims (as I mentioned above), I think a lot of them also have problems in facing the situation - they tend to block out the memories or live in denial, which is a major issue. I think that its because a lot of the times the "assaulter" is some one known to them - family, friends, neighbors. So it would be very hard to understand that why would that known person do that to them.
 
I came across this article on http://www.buzzfeed.com/ today, which actually triggered this whole post. It was about this initiative called "Project Unbreakable" started by Grace Brown in October 2011. The mission of Project Unbreakable is to increase awareness of the issues surrounding sexual assault and encourage the act of healing through art. It is a healing project for sexual assault survivors where they are photographed holding a poster with a quote from their attacker.

While, these women, girls, men and boys have shown incredible strength even through such adversities, the things said to them (and also who said it to them) will leave you feeling disgusted and immensely sad.
 
From strangers to neighbors to friends to relatives including fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, immediate family, teachers, boyfriends - these were their assaulters. Those were the people who assaulted them from tender ages like 2 or 3, when the child isn't even aware of what is right or wrong. Even boyfriends and husbands, forcing sex!??
 
Doesn't it make you wonder who can be trusted?!
 
Its just incredibly sad to see all of this and it leaves me feeling petrified about the kind of world I will be bringing my kids into.
 
Saying that, I would like to add that I truly admire these survivors for helping in spreading awareness.
I believe that a lack of awareness or fear of being the "the only one" in the situation, is what holds a lot of the victims back too. So that would be the best place to start - create awareness; be supportive; fight for stringent laws; educate kids earlier in life.
 
I think it has become extremely essential, that we know and we teach our kids or rather everyone in our lives how to deal with such situations and support them. These are few things I would like to pass on to everyone I know for their safety:
  • Always be alert
  • Be aware of your surroundings
  • Choose your company wisely
  • At a parties, always pour your own drink and never leave your drinks unattended (My parents always told me that)
  • Remember that if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.



You know when I read about all this, It just makes me grateful for the kind of people I have in my life - strong, gentle, caring, protective and supportive - My Family, My Relatives, My Friends! And I am specially thankful to all the men in my life- Dad, Brother, Cousins, Uncles, Friends and others (especially my Dad) for being such wonderful human beings - who always care for me and watch over me.
 
In conclusion, always remember that you are not alone! 
 
So be firm, be strong and don't worry God has placed Guardian Angels for us in this mean world, who will always be there for us!


Thursday, September 5, 2013

Pondicherry - La Côte d'Azur de l'Est

It wasn't the first time that I had been to Pondicherry - had gone there late last year for my bestie Anupama's wedding. But between wedding preps, didn't get the opportunity to explore Pondi.

Pondicherry or Puducherry (its officially called that now) is a Union Territory and was the largest French Colony in India. A union territory(UT) is a type of administrative division - they are ruled by the union government. They have special rights and status. The reason why they might be given the status of UT could be to safeguard the rights of indigenous cultures etc.

Now, Pondi is know as The French Riviera of the East, and was a part of Etablissements Français de L'Inde (French India, 1815-1954). Its one of the most popular tourist destinations in South India and it still preserves its French Colonial Heritage.

The first trip of my two week vacation in India, I was visiting Pondi to explore it and to attend the International Dance Retreat at Auroville. You can read about the retreat by clicking the link. For now, lets get on to the trip and all that followed:

Day 1: Chennai, Pondi and the crazy weather
Eliza and me arrived in Chennai from Pune by flight at half past midnight on 09 August. We decided to hang out at the airport till day break and then catch a bus to Pondi. It takes around three hours by road. You can even hire a taxi from the airport but that will set you back by 3 to 4 grand. And since we were trying to keep expenditure to the low, catching a Volvo or a local bus seemed appropriate.

After the not so fulfilling dried corn in-flight, hunger set in and trust me Chennai Domestic Airport doesn't have any options for snacks etc as of yet. But thankfully, outside the airport we found a Maggie Kiosk! Yes, Maggie...this could be put down as our Maggie Story! 




Over our bowl of Maggie noddles and hot Nescafe, we discussed about everything from childhood to adult life to boys to marriage to what would we tell our children! It was crazy how time passed by so quickly. Before we knew it, it was close to four in the morning. The only annoying thing or rather spooky was the appearance of Bran's crow (yes, a GoT reference), it just went on staring at us and saying Caw-Caw! lol :)
Other than that the police on duty were really nice to us and asked us how we were getting to Pondi!

Now, the thing was we knew that we had to either go to Tambaram, which is around 10 km from the airport along the Grand Southern Trunk Road or go to Koyambedu, which is around 15 km from airport. So we decided to go to Tambaram since we were told if we reach untime(i.e after 12 - lol :)) we should go there. We asked someone how to get there and were informed that we had to walk to the international airport and get out from it, cross the road and catch a local bus to Tambaram. 

With language being a serious barrier, we managed to find out where the Tambaram(totally saying it with accent) bus would come and waited there. It cost us around Rs. 15 to get to it. Once there, we inquired about buses to Pondi but it turned out that the buses are not frequent and we would have to wait for a long time. So a man suggested we go to Koyambedu as the buses are frequent there. Once again we got onto a local bus and traveled back towards the airport for around 27 km.

At Koyambedu, we caught a local bus - "A Super Deluxe Bus" which cost us Rs. 125 each and was really comfortable. The weather was amazing and most buses take East Coast Road which is very scenic and beautiful. Unfortunately, as we were awake for 24 hours straight, we fell asleep in the bus. The only time I got up was when its started pouring heavily and rain was coming in from the window.

So anyways, we get to Pondi by around 10:30 am. Got to Anupama's place in Villanur, freshened up, ate something and headed out.

Our first destination was Centre for Research in Performing Arts (CRIPA) in Auroville to attend our first dance session at the International Dance Retreat. And for those who don't know about Auroville - Its an experimental township founded as a project of the Sri Aurobindo Society by Mirra Alfassa ("The Mother") in 1968. "Auroville is meant to be a universal town where men and women of all countries are able to live in peace and progressive harmony, above all creeds, all politics and all nationalities. The purpose of Auroville is to realise human unity.", as stated in The Mother's first public message about Auroville (For more information visit http://www.auroville.org/).

After the session, we headed out to grab a bite before movie night at the retreat and that's when the "fun" began! For any one who has been to Auroville, they would understand how easy it is to get lost. Yeah, we would eventually find our way out but the weather that night just added to it! Crazy wind, lightning, thunder and torrential rain plus two girls completely lost in a new place! And for some reason, everyone we asked had no idea where the movies were being screened. Wait, it gets worse or spookier! So we stopped to ask a guard directions and this Uncle appears suddenly and claims he knows where the movies are being screened. So he hops into our car and takes us down these lonely lanes with limited lighting (and yes, there was the spooky weather).

In our respective heads:
Eliza : Oh! At least Uncle will get us there!
Uncle: Yay! I got lift to my movie!
Me: Please! Please don't be a ghost! Please! Wheres the pepper spray?! Does pepper spray affect ghost?!

So after the spooky ride, we get to the location and it wasn't where our movie was getting screened. Uncle gets off (Didn't look at his feet just in case they were turned backwards)! And we wait in the car trying to get in touch with someone from the retreat to guide us to the location.

Picture this: Crazy Wind. Thunder. Lightning. Jungle. No street lighting. Car with lights off. No telephone range. Two girls desperately trying to call someone.
And someone knocks on our car window!
Scary as Hell!

It wasn't freaky Uncle (He isnt a Ghost, others saw him too!)! It was an Aunty who came to tell us that Uncle wasn't lying about the movie screening. So then we asked her how to get to our location! And Voila! She knew exactly how to get "somewhere there".

So we follow her instructions and reach near Matri Mandhir, which looked like an alien ship in the night.
But we still didn't find our movie screening and then it started pouring like crazy. So we decided to head back home, only to find out that there was a power outage - Thanks to the crazy weather! Exhausted and disappointed we slept off after dinner.

Day 2: The French Side of Town
After a exhausting first day, we were craving some good coffee to pick us up. So headed towards the french side of the town - Had brunch at this nice Bakery Restaurant - Bon Bakes!

We then decided to explore the area on foot, which I think is the best way to do it. You can use GPS or get a map locally of all tourist attractions to guide you.

We started off from Bharthi Park, walked past "The Promenade" onto Goubert Avenue, which runs along the coast line.

There is a lot to see down Goubert Avenue starting with Gandhi Statue, the Jawaharlal Nehru Statue, the French War Memorial., Le Cafe, Old Lighthouse, Joan of Arc Park, Dr. BR Ambedekar Manimandapam and some more.
Walking towards Goubert Avenue
A Heritage Villa built in the early 17th Century as a part of Villa Aroume, which served as the residence of many French Governors including Dupleix (http://www.hotelduparc.co.in/aboutus.htm)
At the Jawaharlal Nehru Statue

A four-metre high statue of Mahatma Gandhu surrounded by eight granite pillars, which were supposedly brought from Gingee, a fort around 70kms from Pondi
French War Memorial is a reminder of the brave soldiers who sacrificed their lives for their country during the First World War. Every year on Bastille Day - 14th July homage is paid to the martyrs.

The Swag Lady Rickshaw Driver
Forming our Game Plan
Down Goubert Avenue

Sri Aurobindo Ashram Press

Hotels on Bazaar St. Laurent Street

Pensionnat Goverment Girl's French High School

You there! I love you!
Joan of Arc Statue in the park, opposite The Church of Our Lady of the Angels
Church of Our Lady of the Angels (Notre Dame des Anges)
Built in 1855 in Greek Roman Architectural Style

Maison de Police
The Old Lighthouse
At the Pondicherry Museum, Rue Romain Rolland


Sri Aurobindo Ashram
We didn't go into the Ashram as there was a huge line but everyone does say that one should go visit it. So maybe in the future we will.

Running short on time since we had a dance session at the International Dance Retreat, we decided to grab some lunch (and some beers to beat the heat). So we headed back towards our car and then it happened!

What happened?! I stepped into cow dung!
Yes! Cow dung!

So there I was on St. Gilles Street, screaming Yuck! Yuck!, while Eliza was laughing uncontrollably. And yes, she decided to capture my foot print in the dung.
In her attempt to comfort me, she says that cow dung stinks less than other kakas! Yes, that's supposed to comfort me. So I got out my expensive facial wipes and tried to wipe as much as I could of my foot and shoe while trying not to be disgusted!

Anyways moving on from my traumatic experience (added to the stories I would tell me kids), our quest for lunch, brought us to Asian House on the South Boulevard. A nice restaurant which apparently turns into a night club over weekends. The food was pretty good and prices reasonable.
Asian House, on South Boulevard
American Steak
After lunch, we rushed to Auroville for the retreat. Being the last day of the retreat we had a dance jam session to end it. After that, we all decided to head to town to this place called "Le Club". Now, unlike what the name suggest, its not actually a club. I'll explain in a bit.

So anyways, we head over to Shanthi's Guesthouse (a firangi who has adopted an Indian name) to shower. And I can now successfully, tick having a shower in an open air bathroom of my list!
Its a very different experience - lizards checking you out in the shower, insects flying around, frogs who join in.

So after the shower, Frank, Eliza and me were sitting in the garden area, waiting for the rest - when Frank found our pepper spray. He was fidgeting with it, trying to figure out its functionality. And then he's like lets see if it works!
Yes, he sprayed it in the air!

We then put it back in the bag and carried on jabbering! And then suddenly we hear people coughing and sneezing a lot. People come out from their rooms saying what's this smell, its irritating my nose and throat! Turns out the pepper spray is really effective.

Imagine the effect of spraying it into someone's face! And Frank had to hear about it all evening lol!
So post-pepper spray, we headed to LE CLUB (Totally saying it in a heavy French accent), which is actually a restaurant and bar! But there were so many people waiting to get in - and even though someone in our group knew the owner, we had to wait for around 20 mins.

Waiting turned out to be so much fun - A couple of street vendors were trying to sell dholaks to us and then our instructors Wim and Dolores started dancing salsa to the beat of the dholak. It was really entertaining! When you want to dance, you find a beat in anything! :D
Za, Moi & Frank @ LE CLUB
After a long yet enjoyable wait, we get in! Its a nice restaurant with good food. I would definitely recommend Le Club. The steak and chocolate mousse is a must-have! We tried the Steak with Blue Cheese Sauce  and it was definitely the best steak I have had to-date - the meat was just melting in my mouth. And the chocolate mousse had the perfect texture and tasted amazing!
Frank #german #dasbeer #bolganapizza
Chocolate Mousse
It was a really great night – talking, laughing, singing besame mucho loudly, learning German drinking song!

After dinner we headed back to Auroville to drop people off, got stopped by cops a couple of times (normal). Then we headed back to Anu's house. Unfortunately, our phone batteries died so we couldn't get in touch with Anu. Thankfully Eliza remembered the way back so we didn't need GPS. But when we reached home, we realized the main gate was locked and there was no way to get in touch with Anu or Rabin.

So my war machine aka Eliza decides to climb over the gate and starts pelting stones at the bedroom window. It didn't seem to be working. So she asks me to climb over the gate! hahahaha!
me + climb over a gate = disaster

I tried I really did! She even passed over an ironing board for me to stand on - that was too funny! I stood on it and it collapsed below my feet! And to add to it I was starting to get freaked out in the dark! But by God's grace, Rabin heard us shouting out and came to check.
Exhausted from an eventful day, we headed to bed. 

Day Three: Mango Hill, Salads and Goodbyes...
After an awesome second day in Pondi, it was time to say our Goodbyes to Anupama & Rabin, who were nice enough to invite us to their house. Anu has become this perfect south Indian wife, who made yummy idlis and tried to over-feed us! But it was really nice and its always fun catching up!
Moi & Hot Mama
We headed over to Hotel Mango Hill for the Retreat's Brunch and Pool Party. It was a perfect day - amazing weather, greenery all around, great people and a beautiful pool. It was a lot of fun - Frank and all attempted to teach me how to swim!
(Check out Hotel Mango Hill : http://www.hotel-mangohill-pondicherry.com/)
Had a nice light brunch of Salads, bid goodbye to those who where taking off early and went back to the pool to chill before heading back to Chennai.
From Left to Right: Kalpesh, Swapnil, Dolores, Esteban, Pranali, Eliza and Me
We said our Goodbyes and headed back to Chennai with Kalpesh and Esteban by taxi. Got to the airport, checked into our respective flights and then headed to the "lounge" for a farewell drink and snacks.
Frank - Brand Ambassador for "British Empire - Ultra Premium Exclusive Beer"
Final goodbyes were said and we headed off to board our flights. On the way back to Pune, as I sat at my window seat in the plane and stared out into the night - I reflected back on my days in Pondi  - the places I saw and the people I met.

Pondicherry might not have a lot to see but its pretty amazing. The difference in architecture, culture etc. on either side of the canal, the old French colonial buildings, Auroville - the mystery that I see it as, the French Restaurants & Bakeries and lots more.

It should be on your places to see in India and you can always go back there just to relax.

All in All - A truly fantastic trip!

International Dance Retreat

The International Dance Retreat (http://internationaldanceretreat.wordpress.com) was a four day retreat from 08th to 11th August at the Centre for Research in Performing Arts (CRIPA) in Auroville organized by Swapnil Dagliya and Aparna Nagesh.

The four day retreat included yoga classes, training sessions in Contemporary, Hip-Hop and Salsa and a mixed style followed by a Final Jam and a Pool Party.

The Choreographers involved in the retreat were:
Esteban Olives (Paris, France) - www.estebanolives.com
Wim Boussery (Gent, Belgium) - http://www.pasionlatina.be/cms/
Dolores Parisi (Bergamo, Italy) - http://www.youtube.com/user/Doloresparisi
http://www.bmusicschool.com/insegnanti.php?id=1
Aparna Nagesh (Chennai, India) - High Kicks 

Swapnil Dagliya (Pune, India) - Space Studios
Being the first of its kind, the retreat aimed at providing people a chance to learn different forms of dance in more relaxed atmosphere.

Having been a part of it, I can say that it was a really good experience - An opportunity to meet new people and to learn different forms of dance.

At the Pool Party - (L to R): Kalpesh, Swapnil, Dolores, Esteban, Pranali, Eliza & Me
It is quite amazing to see the passion that everyone had for dance. And how they used it to express their emotions.
A truly wonderful experience and an amazing learning process with fantastic tutors who were so open and friendly with everyone. They made the learning process so much fun and easier.
I really enjoyed it all and I got to meet some really nice people like Esteban, Swapnil, Kalpesh,  Dolores, Pranali, Aparna and Wim. I will definitely try to make it next year as well and attend more sessions.
I congratulate Swapnil & Aparna for the success of the event. And wish them and all the choreographers all the best for their future endeavors.

Eliza & Me with Dolores Parisi